Good grief! I had no idea that exercise classes at an un-gym could be so un-freaking-believably hard. WTF!?! I actually trusted the Joga class write-up that I thought said previous yoga experience should be sufficient to attend the next level class. Wrong! As someone who has dabbled in yoga for the majority of her adult life, I have never been as stunned as I was last night, watching the purportedly human figures on neighbouring mats contort themselves into shapes right out of Cirque du Soleil.
Joga, in case you were curious, was developed by the stunningly beautiful Jana Webb as a way to teach yoga to jocks. She counts several pro football and hockey players amongst her clients, while still managing to teach a few classes here and there, including at energyXchange, where I am currently getting my butt kicked on an almost daily basis. The focus of the practice is supposedly on breath, physical postures, and relaxation. Hmm… To me, this seemed more like: jaw-hanging open in awe (breath), pretzel-twisting feats of strength (postures), and mind-numbing fatigue from sheer exhaustion (relaxation). But let’s not split hairs.
Being the determined girl that I am, I fully intend to sign-up for a Joga for Beginners class to give it another go, as perhaps there were a few subtle building blocks that I missed that would make it all appear to be ever-so-slightly less insane. By then, I’m sure my short-term memory will also have kicked in, convincing me it really wasn’t so bad. Heck, I might even be able to walk without wincing again by then, too. Good times ahead!
Just to really underscore my newfound physical humility, I revisited the scene of the crime today to take a High Intensity Interval Training (HIIT) class. I ignored the subtle hints that the kind girl behind the desk gave me as I was leaving last night, that perhaps I might want to try something a little less challenging so early on in my return to physical torture – uh, I mean, well-being. I needn’t have worried. Oh sure, the class was hard, but the moves were completely doable, especially in comparison to the intricate Joga manoeuvres.
I actually think I rather enjoyed the HIIT class on some level, as it seemed to be perfectly suited to someone with my shiny object tendencies. We never did any one exercise for more than 30 seconds or so in a row, and we got frequent 10 second or more rests in between the moves that were very unlike Jagger, and much more like squats, front kicks, skipping rope, gliding, and funky one-armed sit-ups with a kettle bell.
I waddled home with a general all-over body ache that was not entirely unpleasant – at least, so far. But, as they say, tomorrow is a new day, and only time will tell just how much of a shock to the system I have actually endured. Hmm… Is that my support group I hear calling my name? You know, the ones with the margaritas in their hands on the patio? Best start shuffling my way over there to help ensure my muscles remain relaxed. Oh, and I hope my drink comes with a bendy straw… Just saying.